in MMA, MMA PARODY
DANA ADMITS DEFEAT TO ILLEGAL STREAMERS
Dana has admitted defeat to illegal streamers, the UFC boss, came out today and said he underestimated the situation. “I understand technology is not something a brute like myself can comprehend!’ The leader of MMA’s biggest organisation then added, “I did not even know about VPN’s.”
With UFC 259 around the corner, Dana White says he has not given up, and for now, he’s excited about the fight between Israel Adesanya and Jan. The UFC CEO frustrated and smelling like alcoholic started to slur with words. He then got into facetime with a famous midget prostitute and journalist left him as he cried.
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Dana told her that he will be watching her for the next five years. The midget said: “This will never happen!” Dana was allegedly dancing around with a mic in his hand. Rumours have been swirling for years around illegal streaming, and it seems that the MMA promoter is aware of the situation. He said that it seems like the only time he makes money is when he finds out that someone streams it from his site. Dana went on to speak about his understanding of the illegal streams.
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“Let us face it, they get hundreds of thousands of streams, and their goal is to be on TV. They steal the signal, the cameras shut off, and I get mad. “Every day, I have to go on the live event sites, and I watch them all and try to figure out how they do it.” He then added, “I try to steal the signal, and my tech guys try to figure it out.” Dana White failed to get on stage when the show was over, and he was left looking like an angry person.
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“Let us go home! I am so f****** tired! And in the last 20 minutes, I have been taking crazy pictures of some midget, crying girl who I am supposed to be sponsoring! This is not real, guys! It is on TV. I just missed it!” When asked if he can give out a ton of money to the illegal streamers, the UFC head said, “I will buy some drugs for the people that do that and give it to them as an apology.” Finally, the UFC boss ended his appearance by being more honest than most, and said, “This whole thing is, I’m not used to having control of anything.”
WARNING:
The information from this post was written by an anonymous drunk and are not the thoughts of DeadlyDuels Media. Read at your peril. And if you take this “news” seriously, then you need help. Your only reaction should be laughter.
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